My Higher Power is John Stamos
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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