He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
