I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
