College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
