remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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