I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
