wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
