...so i touched it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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