Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
