He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
