Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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