Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
