so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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