the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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