Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
