I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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