i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
