My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
