Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
