I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Bring me that man meat
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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