We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
