i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Everything about him screamed your future.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I would ride that face into the sunset
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
