My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
