i was born a porn star she said
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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