OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
