i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
