Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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