I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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