Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
