Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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