I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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