i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
