remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
