Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
