im so drunk with asians
where?
always
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
