Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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