Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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