Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
