he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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