If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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