careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
