As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
