Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
