I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize