Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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