My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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