And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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