I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
