The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
