In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
