No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
