so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
