Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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