i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
