Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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