do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
