woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
