we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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